Time to get serious! And some not so serious fun stuff


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walmartI was in Wally World when it came to me, that thought, I can’t afford to eat decently! In the produce section, to be exact. Buyin’ a few bell peppers.pepper $1 each! I understand peppers are out of season in West Virginia, but, come on, a DOLLAR……….EACH? At first when gas and diesel were priced only for the Ferrari and BMW crowd, the powers that be(read that “THE GUV-MINT”, them folk what prints the money)moneytreewere sayin’ the price increase in food was due to the high cost of fuel. The cost of gas is 1/2 what it was just a few months ago, I think maybe I was lied to, i guess and with all that grumblin’ now behind us, on to the subject of this page. That is, the weather is breakin’ and warmin’,sun-setting have you started the garden preparation yet? EXACTLY! just what I was thinkin’ too! I admit I have been a little lax, but I am on the way to havin a good season(God and the Guv-mint willin’) This week I rototilled two 3’x60′ rowstractor7d, one for onions which are already planted(a little early, but onions are hardy)…(I think?) and one for tomatos. Any way, today I dumped a bunch of compost over the rows of onions and the future tomato patch, and also limed and fertilized both rows(the price of fertilizer has dropped even if food hasn’t). This week I need to start the pepper and tomato seeds, so I’ll need to scrounge up a bunch of empty flats,(although I just decided to use cheap plastic cups from the dollar store) get some topsoil, manuremanure(plenty in DC, but too far to travel)and potting soil. I saved a sh__tload of pepper seeds, but need to get some termater seeds. And this year I saved a bunch of different apple seeds to, so I guess I’ll try bein’ “johnny appleseed” and maybe a small orchard is in the cards!red_apple_tree But I gotta get all this stuff started. Time to get serious. Last year the garden was not great but I intend to rectumfy that this year, last year I was anal. I also want to grow wheat on the section I used last year to grow some dissapointing corn. Needs some nitrogen in the soil( And cowpattys too!)and the wheat should be ready to turn under by late June. Took a stroll around the MYB and noted that I should have twice as many Black Raspberry bushes as last year, as I trimmed ’em back as I picked last year.BTW, STILL eatin’ em from the freezer in pancakes pancakes_steaming_md_whtand with ice cream. Also the Blackberry plants are MUCH larger than last year. Hope I don’t meet up with that black bear agin!bear1 One face to face encounter is enough for this ol’ biker! What I’m sayin’ in my roundabout way is un-ass the couch,couch-potato put away the bon-bons and start tendin’ that little patch ya got set aside. Maybe I’ll build a greenhouse, then I could start all my stuff without worry? The toyota truck(Red Rocket) is gone! I BARTERED it away(google barter, this is how folks useta do things!) I got a generator, and a slide on camper fer it. I needed both items, my neighbor needed a small pick up, since the toy was just sinkin’ into the ground since fall, we made the deal. Now all I gotta do is get one of my other neighbors to move it to the far, far end of the property……hmmmm, now who has a full sized 4wd truck?truck-with-camper Oh yeah, I remember…. and he needs some wheat seed, which I have. I just LOVE barterin’! Without any cash, I’d never get nothin’ done if not for this old time practice. Ya just don’t see it done in the city. So now I’m relaxin’ in front of the woodstove, enjoyin’ the fire, a can of beer and a bowl after a hard days work, with Buddie(the golden) at my feet. And folks ask why I would put up with the “hardship” of livin’ in the country. It’s like the Harley slogan- “if you gotta ask why, ya would’nt understand”. Ahhhh…..nirvanna!

Me, after a walk in the woods

Me, after a walk in the woods

Recycled Cellar house- I want to bury a 5000 gallon oil tank on its side and cut and hinge a door on one end. The tank is already on my property and an eyesore(but located in the most remote part) Hey, waste not, want not is what my Ma useta say. I’m sure when I do this, it’ll show up here, and will probable be a good, comic story(watch this??) I have just the place for this cellar, and buried it will be a great, hidden stash spot. Hideout? Shelter hole? Command center! Yeah, thats it!

Enough with the serious stuff, and on with the show! A little bit of humor to share with ya’ll and thanks to Kev, Jim Litton, Silly butt, and all ya’ll that have sent me funny stuff.

Gentle Thoughts for Today–

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run
to the end of his chain and gag himself.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your
body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement .

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice:The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ‘ XL.’

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s
really in trouble.

There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t
hurt <

Did you ever notice:When you put the 2 words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it
spells ‘Theirs.’

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know
‘why’ I look this way.I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads
weren’t paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a
nice change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up
your zipper.
It’s worse when you forget to pull it down.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called
witchcraft.
Today, it’s called golf

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?

The position of the dirt bag

A Mexican, a Black, and a Texas Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.

“I can only grant three wishes,” the Genie said. “Since there are three of you, you may have a wish apiece.” Pointing at the Black, he said, “Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish.”

The Black studied for a moment then said, “I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa.”

Poof! It was done! Hundreds of ships appeared on the skyline..

The Mexican said, “I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my people back to our homeland, May-he-co!”

Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet Pickups appeared on the beach.

Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, genie“And what is your wish?”

The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing off into the sunset and said,

“Just give me a Bud Light. It doesn’t get any better than this!”

What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife

A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mom on
top of his dad bouncing up and down. the mom sees her son and quickly
dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes
to find him.

The son sees his mom and asks, “What were you and Dad
doing?”

The mother replies, “Well, you know your dad has a big tummy
and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it.”

“Your wasting your time,” said the boy.

“Why is that?” the mom asked puzzled.

“Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and
gets on her knees and blows it right back up.”

What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you.

Sorry all local folks, but I could’nt resist these next few;

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?

Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… ‘a recipe’.

What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins ‘Once upon a time ..’ –

A southern fairytale begins ‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this s**t

Well, thats it fer this week, since few are commenting, I’m Bringin’ back the (damn) Duck! Ya don’t comment, let his(or her)demise be on your head! Come-on comment, don’t make me waste a bullet on ‘im.2be93cc2-eac5-4b4f-9afe-1657522f0ddc

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10 Responses to “Time to get serious! And some not so serious fun stuff”

  1. Mary Says:

    West Virginia’s one of the happiest states. Wonder how they concluded that on today show?

  2. mickey Says:

    hanging with you Willy O, your blog is a weekly read, maybe a comment is in order to show support.
    so how about a joke, my brother from another mother?

    Little Johnny runs up to his mom “mommy, mommy, I want to have two pee pees, just like daddy”
    his mom, perplexed, asks “what are you talking about, Johnny?”
    little Johnny replies “I want me a little tiny one like daddy goes pee with, and a great big one, like he brushes the babysitters teeth with”

  3. mickey Says:

    or, a blond joke?
    this blonde is in a bar, after work, trying to have a relaxing cocktail, when, as usual, the men start hitting on her, “hey baby, what brings you in here” “what’s your sign” and all that. getting pissed, she hollars out, “all you men are all the same, your brains are in your peters” hearing that, the old drunk down the bar says “well then, why don’t you come on down here and blow my mind?”

  4. mickey Says:

    Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and
    went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, “Since you’ve
    been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward
    is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”

    Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with
    God.” St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
    Arthur then asked God, “Hey, aren’t you the inventor of woman?” God said,
    “Ah, yes.” “Well,” said Arthur, “professional to
    professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
    1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
    2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
    3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
    4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
    And finally,
    5. The maintenance costs are outrageous.”

    “Hmmmm, you may have some good points there,” replied God, “hold on…”
    God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited
    for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and
    God read it.

    “Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,” God said to Arthur,
    “But according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than
    yours.”

  5. Oppostewheepe Says:

    Спасибо непомерное за предоставленную справку. Имеюсь рад разместить ее у себя на дневнике. Если Вы не против, то я так и совершу.Если духи какие-то проблеммы со копирайтом, постучитесь на мой дневник,я целое исправлю. Так же прибавил Ваш должность на соцзакладки. Вообщем если что обращайтесь, – вовек выслушаю и осмыслить. Со, уважительностью, Firestarter.

    Willyo- sorry….. ahh…firestarter?Kinda touchy screen name around these parts(see crooked county crooks, lone meth ranger, calhoun underground and calpatty press- all in my links pages) but I’d love to have a serious debate about….ahh… the issues?? But I just don’t ken ah…Russian?? Ukarainian?? Croatian?? Thanks…I think? for bein’ a Fan?

  6. nettiegirl Says:

    hey willy ! finally got this site to open 4 me ! cool page my friend ! sure miss hearing from ya,but i see u r keepin busy. im still out in new mexico,hoping to least make it home for visit soon,but wh/knows ? i’ll chek in on ya here,since i know wh/ya is doing in your spare time. xoxoxo nettiegirl

    Willyo- hey Nettie! Hows things “home on the range”? Montana, was’nt it? Glad ya got away from the craziness around here- hey just read the news! I have started to “tend garden” in earnest and the blog will reflect it(see 1st annual Norman Ridge POT party,hahaha. Glad yer in touch agin’ and thanks fer the shout! Now…… Go feed the horses.

  7. mickey Says:

    rough translation russian to english, google tranlator

    Спасибо непомерное за предоставленную справку. Имеюсь рад разместить ее у себя на дневнике. Если Вы не против, то я так и совершу.Если духи какие-то проблеммы со копирайтом, постучитесь на мой дневник,я целое исправлю. Так же прибавил Ваш должность на соцзакладки. Вообщем если что обращайтесь, – вовек выслушаю и осмыслить. Со, уважительностью,

    Thank you for giving excessive information. Imeyus am happy to place it in his diary. If you do not mind, I and spirits sovershu.Esli any problems with copyrights, postuchites in my diary, I have a corrected. Just add your post to sotszakladki. Other words: nothing, if that contact, – ever hear and understand. So, good

  8. nettiegirl Says:

    hey sweet willy,me again ! new mexico is where im at/been here 7 months now. ya can check out my pics on myspace or better ones on tagged profile (ulr on both is 47jet_w) just go to watch 9 muledeer rite outside bunkhouse,boy are they shy tho ! tried for elk pics/they even shyer ! keep up good work at yer place my friend & when ya get in the wind…..think of this ole gal !

  9. watcat Says:

    Hi this blog is great I will be recommending it to friends.

  10. wonker Says:

    Interesting blog, I’ll try and spread the word.

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