Time to get serious! And some not so serious fun stuff
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I was in Wally World when it came to me, that thought, I can’t afford to eat decently! In the produce section, to be exact. Buyin’ a few bell peppers. $1 each! I understand peppers are out of season in West Virginia, but, come on, a DOLLAR……….EACH? At first when gas and diesel were priced only for the Ferrari and BMW crowd, the powers that be(read that “THE GUV-MINT”, them folk what prints the money)were sayin’ the price increase in food was due to the high cost of fuel. The cost of gas is 1/2 what it was just a few months ago, I think maybe I was lied to, i guess and with all that grumblin’ now behind us, on to the subject of this page. That is, the weather is breakin’ and warmin’, have you started the garden preparation yet? EXACTLY! just what I was thinkin’ too! I admit I have been a little lax, but I am on the way to havin a good season(God and the Guv-mint willin’) This week I rototilled two 3’x60′ rows, one for onions which are already planted(a little early, but onions are hardy)…(I think?) and one for tomatos. Any way, today I dumped a bunch of compost over the rows of onions and the future tomato patch, and also limed and fertilized both rows(the price of fertilizer has dropped even if food hasn’t). This week I need to start the pepper and tomato seeds, so I’ll need to scrounge up a bunch of empty flats,(although I just decided to use cheap plastic cups from the dollar store) get some topsoil, manure(plenty in DC, but too far to travel)and potting soil. I saved a sh__tload of pepper seeds, but need to get some termater seeds. And this year I saved a bunch of different apple seeds to, so I guess I’ll try bein’ “johnny appleseed” and maybe a small orchard is in the cards! But I gotta get all this stuff started. Time to get serious. Last year the garden was not great but I intend to rectumfy that this year, last year I was anal. I also want to grow wheat on the section I used last year to grow some dissapointing corn. Needs some nitrogen in the soil( And cowpattys too!)and the wheat should be ready to turn under by late June. Took a stroll around the MYB and noted that I should have twice as many Black Raspberry bushes as last year, as I trimmed ’em back as I picked last year.BTW, STILL eatin’ em from the freezer in pancakes and with ice cream. Also the Blackberry plants are MUCH larger than last year. Hope I don’t meet up with that black bear agin! One face to face encounter is enough for this ol’ biker! What I’m sayin’ in my roundabout way is un-ass the couch, put away the bon-bons and start tendin’ that little patch ya got set aside. Maybe I’ll build a greenhouse, then I could start all my stuff without worry? The toyota truck(Red Rocket) is gone! I BARTERED it away(google barter, this is how folks useta do things!) I got a generator, and a slide on camper fer it. I needed both items, my neighbor needed a small pick up, since the toy was just sinkin’ into the ground since fall, we made the deal. Now all I gotta do is get one of my other neighbors to move it to the far, far end of the property……hmmmm, now who has a full sized 4wd truck? Oh yeah, I remember…. and he needs some wheat seed, which I have. I just LOVE barterin’! Without any cash, I’d never get nothin’ done if not for this old time practice. Ya just don’t see it done in the city. So now I’m relaxin’ in front of the woodstove, enjoyin’ the fire, a can of beer and a bowl after a hard days work, with Buddie(the golden) at my feet. And folks ask why I would put up with the “hardship” of livin’ in the country. It’s like the Harley slogan- “if you gotta ask why, ya would’nt understand”. Ahhhh…..nirvanna!
Recycled Cellar house- I want to bury a 5000 gallon oil tank on its side and cut and hinge a door on one end. The tank is already on my property and an eyesore(but located in the most remote part) Hey, waste not, want not is what my Ma useta say. I’m sure when I do this, it’ll show up here, and will probable be a good, comic story(watch this??) I have just the place for this cellar, and buried it will be a great, hidden stash spot. Hideout? Shelter hole? Command center! Yeah, thats it!
Enough with the serious stuff, and on with the show! A little bit of humor to share with ya’ll and thanks to Kev, Jim Litton, Silly butt, and all ya’ll that have sent me funny stuff.
Gentle Thoughts for Today–
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run
to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your
body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice:The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ‘ XL.’
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s
really in trouble.
There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t
Did you ever notice:When you put the 2 words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know
‘why’ I look this way.I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a
nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up
It’s worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called
Today, it’s called golf
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
A Mexican, a Black, and a Texas Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.
“I can only grant three wishes,” the Genie said. “Since there are three of you, you may have a wish apiece.” Pointing at the Black, he said, “Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish.”
The Black studied for a moment then said, “I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa.”
Poof! It was done! Hundreds of ships appeared on the skyline..
The Mexican said, “I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my people back to our homeland, May-he-co!”
Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet Pickups appeared on the beach.
Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, “And what is your wish?”
The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing off into the sunset and said,
“Just give me a Bud Light. It doesn’t get any better than this!”
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mom on
top of his dad bouncing up and down. the mom sees her son and quickly
dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes
to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, “What were you and Dad
The mother replies, “Well, you know your dad has a big tummy
and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it.”
“Your wasting your time,” said the boy.
“Why is that?” the mom asked puzzled.
“Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and
gets on her knees and blows it right back up.”
What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Sorry all local folks, but I could’nt resist these next few;
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… ‘a recipe’.
What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins ‘Once upon a time ..’ –
A southern fairytale begins ‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this s**t
Well, thats it fer this week, since few are commenting, I’m Bringin’ back the (damn) Duck! Ya don’t comment, let his(or her)demise be on your head! Come-on comment, don’t make me waste a bullet on ‘im.