The First Annual Norman Ridge Pot Party!
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Yep ,that’s right A huge POT party! Right on Norman Ridge! In Calhoun County, West(by God!)Virginia!
I started thinkin about a big party to coincide with my moving(finally!)to the ridge. In addition to the Beer, Corn on the cob, Burgers, Ribs, Sausage, Italian Meatballs, Chili and Dogs, I’ll have plenty of POT to go around! There will be Music(ahhh…bring yer guitars, fiddles and banjoes) maybe a Band. Ya know, everybody loves POT partys, hell everybody loves POT, everybody needs POT and everybody can have POT! I mean of course Potatos, Onions and Tomatos! With a little luck, hard work and Prayers All the POT will be locally grown, if not by me, then by my neighbors here on the ridge. How bout a big bonfire, frisby games, the infamous “downhill Bigwheel competition”- send any suggestions for activities on the comments box at the bottom of the page.
Below is my copy I’m workin’ on for the hot sauce project I’m startin’ this summer
MURDER MOUNTAIN HOT PEPPER SAUCE- Skillfully created by Genuine Hillbilly Craftsmen of the Mountains- AND WE KNOW HOT SAUCE!! A subtle blend of red and orange Cayenne , Jalapeno and Habanero peppers, quailty cider vinegar, mountain grown Garlic and a secret blend of spices. If you like it HOT, this is a must in every GREAT firehouse chili, Spicy Burrito, Crispy Taco, even burgers have an all new kick- use it wherever you use Franks, Tabasco, Blairs or any other “name brand” hot sauce. The folks’ll ask whered ya get the recipie, and you can say”MURDER MOUNTAIN”! All ingredients grown in West(by God!)Virginia, in the United States of America!
Remember a little goes a long way, it’s concentrated!
2 oz btl- $4.50+ postage- US only.
5 oz btl- $8.00+ postage-” ”
Quart size- 19.50 postage paid In the US only.
We don’t ship beyond the borders of the US.
MADE IN THE USA FOR CONSUMPTION IN THE USA – PROUDLY AMERICAN MADE!
We don’t make and don’t have to make any apology WE ARE NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT!
WE ARE GASTRONOMICALLY CORRECT!
(and proud of it)
This here’s a true story that I just made up!
Hello, its May 15, 2011, and my name is Delbert Bizzybody, a reporter for “The internet news and Obama report” where we report all the news thats allowed, and I’m here to speak with Willyo, the author of that wildly popular internet publication “Willyobikers Norman Ridge Newsletter”. Well willyo, were you surprised when your newsletter reached 173,000,000,000 hits in just over three months? Nope, not at all Delbert, I had things to say that people wanted to hear I guess. Or maybe folks just needed a little kick in the pants ta get ’em laughin agin’, what with the economy still ruined and all. Mr. Willyo, have you made a lot of money writing WNRN? Well yes, Del, last month in fact I cleared at least $11.38. After taxes of course, now that the tax rate is 88%.Dont leave much, ya think ? Mr. Willyo, where do you get your inspiration and may I call you Will? I get most of my Idears from folks around me, life at the MYB farm, my pets, my friends and, of course, watching myself, and No, you can’t call me Will. But you can call me Mr. Mister, why mister instead of Will? I just like hearin’ sombody call me mister is all. Ha Ha Ok Mr., ahh Mr, You mentioned MYB farm? Does MYB signify anything? Mind yer business! Ahhh, pardon? MYB means Mind Yer Bizznizz. Ohh ok, ha ha, very amusing. No, not really Del, At the farm we all mind our business and expect everyone else to also. Oh, we heard you have a few survivalists and revolutionarys staying in the hills with you, I guess to mind your business makes a lot of sense with those types around, ehh Mr.? You really do ask a lot of questions, dontcha Delbert? Well it IS why I get the big bucks. Now Mr, do you folks have a regular training routine? Ah, these questions are gettin’ a little personal dont ya think, Del? Well, no, inquiring minds want to know the answer and what are you folks going to do when President Obama asks for your guns and ammo?He’s not MY president, hell he’s not even a citizen, I heard. He’s gonna ask fer my guns? He gonna ask fer my Bible too?Well, I really don’t know, but it looks that way. Damn, I just cleaned ’em yesterday now I gotta go and hide ’em agin. Now Mr….err…Mr., are’nt you worried about the Obamma squad? Uhh, nope. Will, I and a lot of our subscribers want to know, do you own a lot of guns even though now the Obamanation is compiling information on your and other groups like yours, do you think this will have any impact on BAM! oops, sorry Del, this interview is over. I did’nt much like the way this was goin’ anyway. Hey, interview cameraman, did you get all that on tape? Ahh…… yes, Mr. Willyo, It’s all on BAM!….. BAM BAM BAM. Hey!…. this here camera still runnin? Zeke, I say, this camera still workin? Zeke……come on, ZEKE, wake up!—————–
Will I live to see 80?
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age..
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 80?’
He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?
”Oh no,’ I replied. ‘I’m not doing drugs, either!’ Then he asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?’
I said, ‘No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy! ‘
Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?’
‘No, I don’ t,’ I said.
He asked, ‘Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?’
‘No,’ I said.
He looked at me and said, ‘Then, why do you even give a shit?’
The following is WV humor but I have no idea whose work it is, soo…. with that said read on…
THE RULES OF RURAL WEST VIRGINIA ARE AS FOLLOWS: LISTEN UP CITY SLICKERS!!!!
1. PULL YOUR DROOPY PANTS UP. YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.
2. TURN YOUR CAP RIGHT, YOUR HEAD ISN’T CROOKED.
3. LET’S GET THIS STRAIGHT; IT’S CALLED A ‘DIRT ROAD.’ NO MATTER HOW SLOW YOU DRIVE, YOU’RE GOING TO GET DUST ON YOUR LEXUS. DRIVE IT OR GET OUT OF THE WAY.
4. THEY ARE CATTLE. THEY’RE LIVE STEAKS. THAT’S WHY THEY SMELL FUNNY TO YOU, GET OVER IT. DON’T LIKE IT? I-64 GOES EAST AND WEST, I-77& I-79 GO NORTH AND SOUTH. PICK ONE.
5. SO YOU HAVE A $60,000 CAR. WE’RE IMPRESSED. WE HAVE $100,000 TRACTORS AND HAY BALERS THAT ARE DRIVEN ONLY 3 WEEKS A YEAR.
6.. SO EVERY PERSON IN RURAL WEST VIRGINIA WAVES. WE THINK OF IT AS BEING FRIENDLY. TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT.
7. IF THAT CELL PHONE RINGS WHILE AN 8-POINT BUCK AND 3 DOES ARE COMING IN, WE WILL SHOOT IT OUT OF YOUR HAND. YOU BETTER HOPE YOU DON’T HAVE IT UP TO YOUR EAR AT THE TIME.
8. YEAH, WE EAT TATERS & GRAVY, BEANS & CORNBREAD. WE FRY OUR FISH AFTER ‘CATCH IN’ ‘EM’. YOU REALLY WANT SUSHI & CAVIAR? IT’S AVAILABLE AT THE CORNER BAIT SHOP.
9. THE ‘OPENER’ REFERS TO THE FIRST DAY OF DEER SEASON. IT’S A RELIGIOUS HOLI DAY HELD ON THE MONDAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING.
10. WE OPEN DOORS FOR WOMEN. THAT IS APPLIED TO ALL WOMEN, REGARDLESS OF AGE.
11. NO, THERE’S NO ‘VEGETARIAN SPECIAL’ ON THE MENU. ORDER COUNTRY HAM OR FRIED CHICKEN OR YOU CAN ORDER THE CHEF’S SALAD AND PICK OFF THE 2 POUNDS OF HAM & TURKEY.
12.. WHEN WE FILL OUT A TABLE, THERE ARE THREE MAIN DISHES: MEATS (INCLUDES FISH), VEGETABLES, AND BREADS. WE USE FOUR SPICES: SALT, PEPPER, HOT SAUCE AND KETCHUP. OH, YEAH…WE DON’T CARE WHAT YOU FOLKS IN JERSEY CALL THAT STUFF YOU EAT…IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!! !!
13. YOU BRING ‘COKE’ INTO MY HOUSE, IT BETTER BE BROWN, WET AND SERVED OVER ICE.
14. YOU BRING ‘MARY JANE’ INTO MY HOUSE, SHE BETTER BE CUTE, KNOW HOW TO SHOOT, AND HAVE LONG HAIR.
15. COLLEGE AND HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL IS AS IMPORTANT HERE AS PRO BALL, AND A DANG SITE MORE FUN TO WATCH.
16. YEAH, WE HAVE GOLF COURSES. BUT DON’T HIT THE WATER HAZARDS—IT SPOOKS THE FISH.
17. COLLEGES? WE HAVE THEM ALL OVER. WE HAVE STATE UNIVERSITIES, COMMUNITY COLLEGES, AND VO-TECHS. THEY COME OUTTA THERE WITH AN EDUCATION PLUS A LOVE FOR GOD AND COUNTRY, AND THEY STILL WAVE AT EVERYBODY WHEN THEY COME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
18. WE HAVE A WHOLE TON OF FOLKS IN THE ARMY, NAVY, AIR FORCE, AND MARINES.. SO DON’T MESS WITH US. IF YOU DO, YOU WILL GET WHIPPED BY THE BEST.
19. TURN DOWN THAT BLASTED CAR STEREO! THAT THUMPITY-THUMP NOISE AIN’T MUSIC, ANYWAY. WE DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE THAN WE WANT TO SEE YOUR BOXERS. REFER BACK TO #1.
20. 4 INCHES ISN’T A BLIZZARD-IT’S A FLURRY. DRIVE IN IT LIKE YOU GOT SOME SENSE , AND DON’T TAKE ALL OUR BREAD, MILK, AND TOILET PAPER FROM THE GROCERY STORES. THIS AIN’T ALASKA , WORST CASE YOU MAY HAVE TO LIVE A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT CROISSANTS. THE PICKUPS WITH SNOW BLADES WILL HAVE YOU OUT THE NEXT DAY.
And a recipie too! what more couldya ask fer?
All About Cookin’
1 lb not real lean chopped meat(80/20 or 70/30 OK)
1/4 cup chopped onions
NO BREADCRUMBS! NO EGGS!(it’s NOT meatloaf we’re makin!)
1/2 teaspoon each tyme, marjoram, sage and basil
1 teaspoon oregano
1 or 2 shakes hot pepper sauce(I’d suggest “Murder Mountain” brand if it was available yet) or 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
2 teaspoons crushed, pressed or diced garlic
salt n pepper to taste
1 cup olive oil
heat olive oil to 350, while heating combine all ingredients well(use yer hands) then roll meatballs between your palms, dipping hands frequently in hot water to lessen sticking. place meatballs into hot oil asyou make them. Lightly brown all sides of meatballs(they are done when a spoon pressed against them does not yield)
drain meatballs in colander.
Sauce; 1 can hunts meat flavored tomato sauce, 1/2 teapoon each, oregano, tyme and sage, 1 tablespoon minced garlic, 1/2 teaspoon molasses, MM hot sauce or crushed red pepper to taste. Heat through on low in 2 quart saucepan. when heated add all meatballs to sauce, cover and reduce heat to low simmer for 20 minutes. remove lid and add 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese. Serve over your favorite pasta( I love angel hair spaghetti myself). Good appetite! N-joy.- Willyo.