HEADLINES


Well it’s like this= needed a comedy page bein’ that all my other stuff is so serious- needed to lighten up!
(oh, and thanks Jim)(actual!) HEADLINES
 
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
 
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
 
No, really?
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
 
Now that’s taking things a bit far!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Panda Mating Fails;
 
Veterinarian Takes Over
 
What a guy!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Miners Refuse to Work
 
After Death
 
Those good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Juvenile Court to Try
 
Shooting Defendant
 
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
War Dims Hope for Peace
 
I can see where it might have that effect!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
 
Ya’ think?!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Cold Wave Linked to
 
Temperatures
 
Who would have thought!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Enfield Couple Slain;
 
Police Suspect Homicide
 
They may be on to something!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Man Struck By Lightning:
 
Faces Battery Charge
 
He probably IS the battery charge!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
 
Weren’t they fat enough?!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Astronaut Takes Blame for
 
Gas in Spacecraft
 
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
 
Do they taste like chicken?
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
 
Chain-saw Massacre all over again!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Hospitals are Sued by
 
7 Foot Doctors
 
Boy, are they tall!
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
And the winner is….
 
Typhoon Rips Through
 
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
see, is’nt this just as good as Jay?(Leno)
hope to add  more soon, and a very merry Christmas to ya’allcid_x_ma22_1229915792aol
 cid_x_ma8_1229915792aol

cid_x_ma16_1229915792aol

Advertisements

One Response to “HEADLINES”

  1. Joyce Says:

    Never knew you were so funny! I’m the New Yorker that talks to you at Holbert’s sometimes, the one at the end of Big Root. Found this through Craigslist, and couldn’t stop reading. Thanks for making my Sunday morning fun. Joyce

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: