CH,CH,CH,CHANGES!


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My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!

Well, been busy these last few weeks and have’nt written anything, so I guess it’s time to limber up the arthritic fingers and rant for ya’ll;

There’s somethin’ in the air! Sit up, Pay attention, take notes!
“Fish don’t fry in the kitchen;
Beans don’t burn on the grill.
Took a whole lotta tryin’
Just to get up that hill.
Now we’re up in teh big leagues
Gettin’ our turn at bat.
As long as we live, it’s you and me baby
There ain’t nothin wrong with that. ”

How does this sound; picture the Obama’s bein’ installed in the White House, the Jeffersons(the TV comedy) theme music is playin’, our leader(messiah?) singin’ “movin’ on up” as he watches the economy movin on down. Not a very pretty picture, but a somewhat humorous one.
What were we thinkin? Does nobody even think about their choice on election day? Does America now vote only for sound bites, empty promises, and a nice smile? The Messiah? The new Stalin? The anti-Christ? Free Americans are being attacked from all sides. I am watching the country I love be destroyed by politics! Mark my words- I smell Revolution in the air.Can you smell it too? Smells like……..FREEDOM. All my survivalist comrades are gearing up. All my prepper friends are prepin’. All the”gun nuts”(yes, I am one!) are buyin all the guns n ammo they(we)can get. April 15(tax day!)will see universal tax protests in the streets, and on the campus of many a college, look around, read the news, watch it on TV. All these protests are just the first step in any revolution! Ohh, yes, the sheeple wanted change, well, change is upon us! Are ya happy? Are ya likin’ all the changes? Are ya liking that new job? Oh, ya got laid off? Thats a shame! One of my friends sent me a joke about not bein’ able to decide which of his employees had to be laid off due to the economy, he went to the parkin lot and all the folks that had an Obama sticker got the ax! I’m here ta tell ya, Batten down the hatches boys, cause change in comin’, but is it change for the good?? Maybe some folks out there may wanna read(re-read?)my previous articles; the “survival for dummies”series. Maybe ya’ll may want to visit some of the survival links found here. Maybe even join a forum(ya don’t have to post, just lurk n learn), Is there a local militia group? Get out n do a little target practice now that the weather is startin’ ta feel a little like spring. Have ya started yer garden yet? Got them little seedlin’s goin’? Get Up! Get out! Get started! Times are NOT gettin’ better, no matter what the PTB say. Soon we all may have to fend for ourselves. Around here, on the ridge and in Calhoun county, I’m seein a lot more gardens bein’ prepared than ever before, do them folks know somethin YOU don’t? Best to be prepared.Besides, it’s good exersize, and also soul satisfying, they say farmers live longer! See! I’m tryin’ to save yer life!- Willyo.expectations1

Willyobiker’s Fantastic Cole Slawhotdog-01-june

In a large STAINLESS mixin’ bowl, combine 3/4 cup Mayo, 1/4 cup salad dressin’, 1/2 cup sugar, 1/4 cup wine vinegar, 1 tablespoon white pepper, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon dry mustard(powder), 1/2 tblespoon garlic powder Optional ing.- 3 well powdered valium Mix well with wire whisk- adjust seasoning to taste.

very thinly slice 1 medium yellow onion(or red onion), 1 lb of cabbage also very thinly sliced and chop to desired consistency. Mix dry ingedients well into liquid with your Hands( the best food is touched) Allow to blend 1-2 days in fridge, take valiums and wait. N-Joy!
When I made this for the seafood resturant folks used to come from other STATES! to get some. Many times I have been told its the best ever tasted, has a little bit of a bite! Let me know how ya like it.

welfaremomA woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.

‘WOW!’ the social worker exclaims. ‘Are they all yours?”

‘Yep, they are all mine,’ the flustered momma sighs,
having heard that question a thousand times before.

She says, ‘Sit down Leroy.’ All the children rush to find seats.

‘Well,’ says the social worker, ‘then you must be here to
sign up. I’ll need all your children’s names.’

‘Well, to keep it simple, the boys are all named ‘Leroy’
and the girls are all named ‘Leighroy’.’

In disbelief, the case worker asked, “Are you serious?
They’re ALL named Leroy?”

Their momma replied, “Well, yes — it makes it easier. When it’s time
to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, ‘Leroy!’ And when
it’s time for dinner, I just yell ‘Leroy!’ an’ they all comes a
running’. And ‘if I need to stop the kid who’s running into the street, I just yell
Leroy’ and all of them stop. It’s the smartest idea I ever had, naming’ them all Leroy.”

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then
wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, “But what if you just want
ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?”

“Then I call them by their last names..”

On other news; Well I finally have a small generator, so now I have juice wherever I need it on the farm. I need to build a chicken coop as I have ordered 10 LAYING hens,cock-fight I was’nt gonna raise any barnyard buzzards, but at just $4 each I just had to. Had to. If I say it twice it’ll make sense to me. Also have aquired 2 slide in campers for the campground, so those who don’t have or don’t wanna sleep in a tent can choose these instead. GB, finally got his mobile home leveled, so he’ll be movin into that before long(I don’t envy him!) The guy that I bought my property from is selling the property behind me(about 30-40 acres) so I guess I’ll be breakin in a new neighbor before to long( gettin’ aclimated to the sound of gunshots and chainsaws, etc…)greenchainsawpistol-01-june Found out my outhouse is 6″ over the property line, so I’ll be movin that before long too,kaboom I guess, if I have to, maybe. Put a few more fenceposts up(still no fencing as I still don’t know just how much of the property will be fenced. Oh yeah, sold the dodge, I wrecked too. So I’m still po’ as all the cash went for bills! At least I’ll start the nice weather days debt free, well, almost. Ohh.. almost forgot that the stepsons Harley has come in to the dealer! He has seen and sat on it and thinks its the greatest thing since the zipper!motorcycle3 He says the bike even looks good with a fat chick on the back!- Wish ya luck Scooter! We want some pics!!

busA tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, ‘Why don’t you eat the peanuts yourself?
We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth,’ she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, ‘Why do you buy them, then?’
The old lady replied, ‘We just love the chocolate around them.’

A little something about West(by God!)Virginia for those less fortunate folks that DON”T live here!Thanks Jim Litton!

West Virginia:Because of our mountains, we have rivers. The oldest river in the Western Hemisphere, the New River (quite appropriately named, don’t you think) ends in West Virginia. We have the Gauley River, which confluences with the New River in a magnificent cascade to form the Kanawha River, which in turn flows through the center of the State, and directly through the capital city of Charleston, the largest city in West Virginia. These rivers in addition to the Cheat, Blackwater, Tygart, Monongahela, Ohio and countless others offer tremendous recreational opportunities.

The tallest building in Charleston is barely 25 floors tall!, which, if you think about it, is a plus; how could you possibly build a skyscraper more beautiful than a mountain?

The capital city stretches throughout the long river valley encompassing both hill and dale.

The Charleston airport, the largest in the State, sits on top of a mountain. The crime rate in Charleston, including the entire population of the Kanawha Valley (around 200,000), reflects that of the entire State, the lowest in America. No more than a handful of murders are committed each year.

Charleston has no subway systems, but, truth be known, you can get from one end of town to the other, even in rush hour traffic, in less than ten minutes.

There are three major interstate systems going through Charleston, the smallest city in America to make such a claim.

The entire State has six different interstate systems, meaning, from Charleston, you can reach Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Louisville or Charlotte in four hours or less….Ah, but once you leave the interstates, the drive becomes a thing of wonder. Two lane roads, winding up and down the mountains, offer amazing views and historic places, small towns, poor in wealth but rich in history.

West Virginia is the birthplace of Mother’s Day, in Grafton; and Father’s Day, in Fairmont.

We have the oldest covered bridge still in use. We have walnut festivals, strawberry festivals, apple festivals, pumpkin festivals, and buckwheat festivals, and arts and crafts fairs and stern wheel regattas and ramp dinners.

We have Bridge Day, on the New River Gorge Bridge over 800 feet above the New River; the only standing structure in the United States that, one day a year, allows parachuting and bungee jumping.

We have college basketball, and minor league baseball and hockey, and, just like all of America, Friday night high school football.

We have white water rafting, and skiing, and hiking, and caves and waterfalls, and camping in every direction. We have Sundays where a leisurely drive in the car can take eight hours, and only cover 100 miles.

We have bed and breakfasts, and resorts, and golf courses, and museums, and the Greenbrier Hotel. West Virginia has more natural beauty and wonder than any person could ever imagine.

We have all of this, and yet…. our greatest asset is our people. West Virginians are good people. We care about each other. We talk to our neighbors over the backyard fence. We grow tomatoes for the entire neighborhood. We turn around in each other’s driveways, and yell “howdy” when we do. We sit on the porch on warm summer evenings, listening to crickets, and watching kids catch fireflies.

We loan a hammer, or a cup of sugar. We don’t take two-hour lunches, but we do spend a few minutes each day with a cup of coffee, and our feet upon our desk, shooting the breeze.

We rarely get in a hurry. We have relatives just down the street. We don’t just loan someone a socket wrench, we help them fix their car. We share recipes, and gardening tips, and our last cup of coffee. We baby-sit each other’s kids, we housesit each other’s dogs while we’re on vacation, and we loan each other our cars if we have to get to the drugstore. We ask each other if we need anyt hing as we’re going to the market.( we dont go to the market,We go to the store! lol)

We celebrate each others accomplishments, and we cry over each other’s disappointments.

We are a friendly folk. We are West Virginians. Mountaineers are always free! Free to take the time to enjoy life, and hold each moment in our hearts, forever.

If you are proud to be a West Virginian, then pass this on.

lawyerLawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’

She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.’judge

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”
“No.” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

Wondering how our great country got in such a mess??- Here ya Go!

THE 545 PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR AMERICA’S WOES

BY CHARLEY REESE

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits? Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don’t propose a federal budget. The president does. You and I don’t have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does. You and I don’t write the tax code. Congress does. You and I don’t set fiscal policy. Congress does. You and I don’t control monetary policy. The Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices – 545 human beings out of the 300 million – are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don’t care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it.

No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator’s responsibility to determine how he votes.

A CONFIDENCE CONSPIRACY Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a SPEAKER, who stood up and criticized President Bush for creating deficits.

The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it. The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.

Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow Democrats, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto.

REPLACE THE SCOUNDRELS

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted — by present facts – of incompetence and irresponsibility.

I can’t think of a single domestic problem, from an unfair tax code to defense overruns, that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.

When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it’s because they want it unfair. If the budget is in the red, it’s because they want it in the red. If the Marines are in IRAQ, it’s because they want them in IRAQ.

There are no insoluble government problems. Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.

Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exist disembodied mystical forces like “the economy,” “inflation” or “politics” that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible. They, and they alone, have the power. They, and they alone, should be held account able by the people who are their bosses – provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees. We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess.whitehouse-watermellonsprixyeswecandingleberry

Oh, yeah- please comment! That(damn)duck is counting on ya! I may yet take it target shootin’- it’s on you if he’s a contestant or a target.2be93cc2-eac5-4b4f-9afe-1657522f0ddc “quack,quacckk, quak,quakety quack! Quack quack, quackk, quakery, quack!( duckese, meaning”save me from this madman)resized-duck-21

12 Responses to “CH,CH,CH,CHANGES!”

  1. outd00r54m3 Says:

    good stuff!

    willyo- thanks! glad ta have ya aboard!

  2. outd00r54m3 Says:

    If it was a goose (especially a Canadian goose) I would say “Go ahead and plug it” but ducks aren’t quite as annoying, plus, they don’t have much meat on them. I guess it’s up to you as to whether you like it or not. They ARE hard to hit when they are flying though (never tried with a pistol)….

    well this ones plastic so not annoying at all(except to look at)-willyo

  3. Jon Says:

    Hey Will,

    If ya do decide to shoot that duck – make sure ya move yer left thumb outta the way!

    Yikes! Just what i need, another war wound-Willyo

  4. Scooter Says:

    Funny Stuff !!!!

  5. Earthmother Says:

    Shit hits fan, they’ll have a bit of trouble with us ‘Houners I bet.

    But damn, everybody I talk to says if shit hits fan they are headed for the woods. Damn woods is gonna get too crowded…

    thats why i bought my own little section of woods- willyo

  6. Great Blog Says:

    I didn’t get a blog alert, so I checked, and there was a new blog. Must be yahell again. Glad ya like it there. Very peaceful. If you need anything give me a holler! Joyce

  7. g0t2prepare Says:

    “Goodbye to the duck”

  8. g0t2prepare Says:

    If you want to read something funny regarding our red-tape government in action, go check out http://g0t2prepare.wordpress.com/2009/04/22/the-government-and-the-beavers/

  9. Greg Says:

    Hope you’re usin hollow points.
    Wouldn’t want him to get away.

  10. C.j. James Says:

    Racist Inbred Hick Alert! You have nothing on our Harvard Educated President. It just kills you that’s there’s a black man in the white house! lololololol!!! Point that gun at yourself and stop giving the US a bad name with your Bull$@it!

  11. will Says:

    As with your expressed opinion, mine is also my opinion….s’matter don’t like free speech? Sorry bout that my nigga. What has he done to be deserving of your respect? No proof of citizenship? Free cell phones for folks on welfare? Health plans that only folks on welfare can afford(with taxpayer subsidy) he will be remembered as being the first(and probably only) black President. And nothing else. Enjoy him till next year then he’ll be gone.

  12. will Says:

    HOW YA LIKE DEM APPLES?

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