Are YOU prepared? Survivalism for dummies
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Economic meltdown, pandemic flu, plague, food shortages etc…. Are you prepared? Surviving isnt just having money in the bank. Not just a few cans of food stashed in the pantry. What will YOU do when the banks close, when everyone you know is out of work(including yourself), when sickness is all around you? Are you ready? Did’nt think so. Well as I surf the net I find an alarming number of survival sites with many many members. The news(that you actually see) is loaded with doom and gloom, and a surprising number of news stories ya just don’t hear at all, anywhere. Now I’m NOT a “survival nut” with a little cabin in the middle of nowhere and a large number of guns and explosives I’m a realist, and a survivor, a blogger and a biker. But I would like to see whats happening in our country in the next ten or so years. Y’eah, I know, oh it’ll be ok, The Guvmint will take care of us. Nuthin’ will happen to ME. But what if we are wrong? What if….
Can YOU survive? Even just three days? Without electric, without gas, without money, without medical help? Well, can ya?? The eggheads(scientists) predict that in 2012 the sun will have huge solar flares that may wipe out this country’s elecrtic grid, and even sooner a worldwide flu pandemic will sweep the earth. Are ya ready? Some may have noticed I have added a new link section”surviving the end days” also known as WTSHTF(when the shit hits the fan)LOTS of good info on what, how and when out there! Take advantage of it!. Click the links to see what others are sayin’.
OK, heres what I’d do- start a garden THIS year, and i don’t mean a couple potato, tomato, and pepper plants. I mean a substantial garden. Grow enough for this summer and at least 90 days in the winter, and start canning. You know, like grandma did. Get you a root cellar to store that 90 day supply in, and find a way to protect it. Have at least SOME money stashed away. Got guns? got ammo? Make sure you get some and stash that too!Ya know, if the electric grid goes down that means no fuel for the car, truck or tractor so do you have hand tools for the garden? First aid? Have a first aid Kit? What about seeds for the garden, water and clothing stashed away? Yer gonna need all this stuff to survive. I know, I know, this is supposed to be a HUMOR site but…. What if? Did I getcha thinkin’? If it gets real bad do y have a place ya can hunker down?- Yer all welcome at the MYB Campground, we can watch the world end together, maybe roast a few marshmallows, and have a few brews…….
Well it’s been real cold here in sunny Cal this past few days, hard to gather wood for the fire an all that, but the barn cats are doin’ ok(box cats) my neighbor Fred cut up a few deer and threw the scaps over the hill and them cats have been chowin down big time. Gonna have to call ’em “fat cats” soon! GB doin ok too, but havent seen hide or hair of GH or GL. Me n B mae quite a team cuttin’ and loadin’ firewood. I don’t get the road department, had a few hairy moments goin’ up to the ridge yesterday as (as usual) no salt or grit on the road at all! Thought I was gonna slide all the way back down Norman Ridge road(1/10).
OK – Funny Stuff!folks have sent these following gems to me and I thought I would share with you guys(and Gals)
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants.
A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn’t want.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
Men marry because they are tired.
Women marry because they are curious.
Both are disappointed.
MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband,
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her.
A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn’t marry.
There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage.
WHAT A WOMAN WANTS:
Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy…
– One is to let her think she is having her own way.
– The other is to let her have it.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Any married man should forget his mistakes – no use
two people remembering the same thing.
A woman always has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Every day, we are assaulted by stories of stupid people–many of whom use their stupidity for personal gain. From time to time, though, we hear of those who strive to achieve new levels of stupidity *while* also breaking the law. To these brave men and women–ooops, “women and men”–we
present the highest possible honor: entry into the “Stupid-Criminal Hall of Shame.”
Following are their accounts …
Kentucky (where else?): Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle’s license plate still attached to the bumper.
South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.
Indiana: A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled–leaving his wallet on the counter.
England: A German “tourist,” supposedly on a golf holiday, showed up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realized that the tourist did not know what a “handicap” was. The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does–backward! A substantial amount of narcotics were found in the golf bag.
Germany: Oil of Olay no longer turning the trick for her, a woman decided that she would bathe in the milk of a camel (a modern-day Cleopatra). So she stole a camel from the local zoo (where *else* can you find a camel when you need one?) and transported it back to her house–where she realized that the camel’s name was “Otto.”
Arizona: A company called “Guns For Hire” stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year-old woman who wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.
Texas: A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check–a *forged* check. He got 10 years.
(Location Unknown): A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head–and realized that he’d forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask.
(Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole–are you ready for this?–the bank’s video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn’t get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)
(Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank’s basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was, (2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialed “911” for help…
Virginia: Two men in a pickup truck went to a new home site to steal a refrigerator. Banging up walls, floors, etc., they snatched a refrigerator from one of the houses, and loaded it onto the pickup. The truck promptly got stuck in the mud, so these brain surgeons decided that the refrigerator was too heavy. Banging up *more* walls, floors, etc., they put the refrigerator BACK into the house and returned to the pickup truck only to realize that they locked the keys in the truck–so they abandoned it.
(Location Unknown): A man walked into a Circle-K (a convenience store similar to a 7-11), put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.
THINGS TO PONDER…….
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?”
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
Oh, and if ya want to read something funny from one of my favorite blogs-
This is priceless! Thanks Buzzardbilly!
Well, thats it for this time around- Tell all yer friends(and enemies too!), add me to yer favorites, send website to all them poor folks in your address books that need a laff, and don’t forget to comment, or that stupid duck will get it! Stay warm, keep yer powder dry and Bye ya’ll.
Willyo.- for the month of Febuary, subscribe and you can recieve a genuine photo of ME! Either the pic at the top of my blog( me on the tractor) or this one of me and the duck-
just send me an email and request “tractor” or “duck” and I’ll email ya a genuine digital full color pic of ME! to hang on yer wall , yer ice box(frigerator), in yer outhouse, or line yer birdcage with( it WILL scare parakeets!,just look at the terror filled expression on the duck!)